Beauty: 5 Lessons We (Should NOT) Teach Our Daughters
Are we doing all we can to teach our young women to be body positive? To embrace their own personal beauty? That lesson begins at home ladies. It makes no difference what we SAY to our girls. They are watching what we DO.
How many of these myths are you silently perpetuating to your child?
1) Thin = Happy.
Let's think about this. We know happy people. How many of them have ever cited that the main reason they are so happy is because they are a size two?
What we should be teaching: Healthy = Happy
A healthy body helps us to feel better about ourselves in the long run. Eat a balanced diet. Exercise. Get enough sleep. Get a yearly physical. Laugh. Find a hobby you are passionate about. If necessary, address any psychological issues with the doctor. These are the things we should be doing for ourselves, to show our girls how to be body happy.
Your (and her) body will settle into its natural state. Her "healthy" might be naturally a size two, or it could be a size eight. Teach her to listen to her body (and the doctor!).
2) How we are at this moment is not good enough.
Do you stand in the back in group photos? Throw your hands up over your face when a camera is pointed at you? We all know what you look like, and we want you in our photos, because we love you. Hiding from the present moment is teaching our girls that we must constantly be trying for an ideal.
What we should be teaching: Enjoy the Now.
Maybe you (or she) would like to lose ten pounds. Maybe your roots are showing, your nails need to be done, you aren't wearing your cutest outfit (insert your own excuse here). These are things that you can certainly address tomorrow. Today, enjoy the time with your friends and family, and don't miss out on life. Jump into that photo, and just be yourself.
3) Follow the Trends
Trends can be fun. Some trends are downright fantastic...but do they look good on you? Do you feel good in them? I have made the mistake of getting "the" hair style of the moment (hello Rachel cut!), and wearing things that everyone else was wearing, for no other reason that they were the fashion. There are looks I wish I could carry off, but not every trend fits every person.
Very trendy eyebrows. Looks good on almost no one.
What we should be teaching: Find your style
Try things on. Get to know your body and what looks good on you, because you'll feel better wearing it. Don't try to fit yourself into a mold that wasn't cut for you. Show your daughter how to find her own personal fashion.
4) "I hate my smile"
Holy moly ladies, if I had a dollar for every time I've heard this one...I was guilty of it in days long past as well. A smile makes everyone more beautiful, and if you're smiling, it's probably because you're happy. Why fight that??
What we should be teaching: Let your happiness shine!
Please, please don't put your hands over your mouths to hide your smile, or utter the above words ever again. What do you think this teaches our daughters? I'll just leave this for you to think about.
5) Beauty is Pain
Hunger. Liposuction. Waist training.
Ouch. Enough said.
What we should be teaching: Being miserable is NEVER a means to an end.
Need to lose weight? Follow a sensible eating plan. Want to tone up? Exercise. Looking to change your face a bit? Try eyebrow shaping, experiment with makeup, and SMILE!
And a word about plastic surgery: I am not against it if it is not extreme/dangerous (having one's fat suctioned from one's body is never a healthy option). With that being said, we must remind our young girls that they are beautiful as they are. If they choose to make changes beyond the age of 21, so be it. In the meantime, please don't let your daughter see you starving, taking dangerous diet pills, having excessive plastic surgery, etc. in order to conform to some unrealistic ideal.
Our young girls are watching our every move, whether we notice it or not. Remember that.
Labels beauty, beauty myths, Dani Lazaro, daughters, eyebrows, fashion, health, liposuction, Mom, plastic surgery, skinny, smile, style, teen beauty, teen girls, waist training